How difficult is it to set boundaries? In my younger years, I was always the people pleaser, afraid to say no to people. I felt that if I didn't do as they asked then they would no longer like me. This is so common within therapy. Is it a learnt behaviour inherited from our parents, or are we afraid of being disliked and no longer popular? I reflected upon this, and for me, it was a combination of both. I was raised to do as I was told, otherwise my parents would become displeased and as a small child, I desperately wanted to please them. This stayed with me for some time as I grew into adulthood until I realised that this was not a sustainable or pleasant way to live. That desire to please others, usually at a cost to myself was exhausting. To begin with, saying no, and putting those healthy boundaries in place was extremely difficult and needless to say, certain people didn't like the fact that I was no longer solely there to satisfy them or their needs. Today, I am surrounded by people who respect my boundaries and understand that I will love and support them wherever I can, but it is important to treat ourselves with that same amount of love. It is ok to say no. It is ok to say, I would love to help you but right now, I have to help myself. These healthy boundaries are what keep us safe and mentally well, don't be afraid to set them.